The topic for this weeks blog cruise is, “How do you make time for your spouse?”. Hmmm…..that’s a good question. Let’s face it..as homeschooling moms we have SO many responsiblities. First there’s the planning that goes into the homeschooling, then there’s the actual homeschooling itself, then there are all the many, many day to day chores we have to do to keep our households running, not to mention playing chauffeur and sometimes (at least at my house!) referee. Let’s face it, it is very easy for our husbands to get lost in the shuffle, isn’t it?
I (briefly) remember those pre-kid days when my husband and I had nothing to do but hang out with each other. We used to go out for ice cream and watch TV together, and we would talk and talk and talk!! Nowadays our conversations focus more around house and child-related issues, but back then we could talk about anything and everything! (Of course, now it is also nearly impossible to have a conversation without being interrupted!!)
So, how do we find a balance in all of this? After all, our marriage is arguably the most important part of our family. If it falters, the whole family falters with it, but making time can be hard. I swear, there are days when, given a choice between “together time” and sleep, both my husband and I would choose a nap. 🙂 These are some of the things I do to try and make time for my husband in the midst of all that’s going on in our lives:
First, because my husband is a fireman, he works 24 hour shifts with 48 hours in between. He does have a second job as a personal trainer, so he is often busy with clients during his off days. I try to do my homeschool work (planning, grading etc.) as well as major household chores (mopping, laundry, shopping) on the days he is on shift. That frees up some of my time on the days he is home.
Also, as our children get older (they are currently 13 and 10) my husband and I find we can sqeeze in lunch or an early dinner while leaving them at home. We never go for more than an hour and half, but it does give us time to have actual conversation. ( I remember, during these outings, what a great sense of humor my husband has, which is part of why I married him in the first place!).
My husband and I also make it a point to try and choose one TV show each season that we will watch together each week. It may seem silly, but I find myself looking forward to our snuggle time on the couch each week as our show approaches. We choose one that comes on after the kids are in bed so we won’t be interrupted. These are some of my favorite times, just hanging out on the couch…and the show usually gives us lots to talk about later.
My husband and I also both love the outdoors. We live in a neighborhood near the river with a great park. He and I have taken to walking our dogs together on the nights he is home. We usually go after I’m done cleaning up dinner, and we are only gone for about 30 minutes, but still, that uninterrupted 30 minutes of just being together goes a long way with us!!
As our kids get older, my husband and I do talk about what life after children will be like for us. At this point I can’t imagine a world without dirty socks all over the place, and I am sure I will miss them when they are gone. However, I do realize that while my time as a “hands-on” mom will come to an end sooner than I would probably like, my time as a wife will last much longer. For that reason, I believe it is really important to invest time in my marriage now. I am blessed to be married to an amazing man, and I try to make sure he knows that I appreciate him! To see what other members of the crew do to make time for their spouses, check out the crew blog: