Do you ever feel like Charlie Brown at Christmas?? You know, just not engaged, frustrated, tired, trying to find the “fun”? Well, that’s me right now. I can’t believe it’s only the second week of December and the blahs have already set in!! I love this time of year!! The lights, the music, the movies….but right now, I feel SO bogged down!
First of all, this is our last week of school before our 3 week holiday break, but I just cannot motivate myself to do school, let alone motivate my kids!! I need to write up a plan and print out their schedules…there are things we absolutely HAVE TO get done before our break….but I find myself just sitting there, staring at my clipboard, with my mind wandering all over the place.
We have family visits all month long! With these boys, I’m lucky if the house stays clean for an hour or two, let alone a month!! I can’t have everyone walk into this mess…so I’m constantly cleaning, washing, drying…cooking!! And forget shopping. I tell myself every year that I’m going to start early, but every year, I don’t. The countdown clock keeps ticking in my head “15 days…14…10….7!” Sigh…I swear December is always the quickest month of the year for me, there is just not enough time to do it all! And I promised myself that this holiday season was going to be different…peaceful even…and now I’m just frustrated!!
And then…a message on facebook…an old high school friend of my hubby’s…(in his 40’s)…he’s been waiting for a heart transplant for a while now…he’s not going to get one…he passed away last week, leaving behind a young son….Wow. Hold on, that’s the kind of stuff I don’t have to worry about for a long time yet!! But wait…one of my good friends (in her 30’s) buried her husband a few months ago..they have a 7 year old daughter. Two kids, both spending their first Christmas without a parent, and they aren’t even in their teens yet! Why am I letting all this other stuff stress me out??
I mean, really, we HOMESCHOOL, so if we don’t get everything done that I wanted to this week, we’ll just pick it up when we start back next year. Sure, we might be doing school until the end of June, but is that really a big deal?? And, okay, I can assure you my house will be clean and disinfected when the family comes to visit, but it might not be exactly well-organized…but as long as the bathrooms are clean and everyone can sit down and talk and hang out, that’s okay, right? And, yes, I will probably be joining those last-minute crowds wandering the malls in the days before Christmas, but they have a lot of deals then! So…..where is my focus? Is it on what’s most important???
No…once again, I have allowed the small things to outshine the BIGGEST thing…the birth of our Savior! Because of Him, I am blessed to live a life where I know that death is not the end. I have been given the gift of grace, in knowing that my sins are forgiven. God has blessed me with this amazing family, and the ability to spend time with them…if that means we order out for pizza…so be it!!
I have given myself permission to NOT get everything done this December. I have given myself permission to have a slightly messy house, and order out a little bit, so I can enjoy what is truly important…this family I have been blessed with!! I hope you all will do the same!!
Merry Christmas! Check out the Homeschool Crew holiday blog cruise to see other Crew members thoughts about Christmas!