“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7
“The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?” Ps. 27:1
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand.” Is. 41:10
Like many homeschool moms, I spent time during the break trying to tie up loose ends and decide on a focus for the coming year. This is kind of a big one. Since we follow a traditional schedule, we are halfway through this year and it brought quite a few changes. The biggest of these was my oldest started taking dual enrollment classes at the local community college and he took his first PSATs. Making the move to dual enrollment brought home to me just how little time I have left with him, and I have to admit, the list of things I know we need to accomplish in the next year and a half is pretty intimidating.
He will begin his senior year this fall. He will graduate next year. I have to get his transcripts ready. He needs to take his SATs! I am SO not ready for this!! Sigh…and that’s when it happens. Every time I start to think about this part of our homeschool journey, my chest gets tight, my breathing feels constricted, and I start to panic. Those nasty little voices in my head start to whisper “you can’t do this”, “you are going to fail him”, “what if I did something wrong and he can’t go to college?”, etc. etc. By the time it’s all over, I am full of doubt and scared to death.
In the past, I would probably have let this fear grip me and paralyze me, at least for a while. But I want this year to be different. I do not want to let fear take control of my life and our homeschool. I believe that when we react out of fear we retreat in defeat to a place far away from where God wants us. Fear is satan’s strategy for keeping me from achieving God’s will in my life, and I don’t want to let him win. So this year, I chose the word Fearless as our word for 2015.
Instead of being afraid, I want to cling to the promises God has made to me in His word. I remember being told that fear is the opposite of faith. When you think about it like that, it makes a big difference. Every time I let fear take over, I am distancing myself from my faith in the Lord. I know that He is big enough to handle my problems, but in my humanness, I become short sighted. I see only the problems and none of the possibilities. I forget that each challenge and difficulty is another opportunity for God to reveal His glory and deepen our faith. When my children see God work in our lives, it opens their eyes to Him. Instead of rushing to panic, I want to show my boys that I trust in the Lord with all my heart, and I will not allow fear to run my life!
So this year, I am going to forge ahead, believing that God is with me on every step. I am going to trust him to provide what we need for my older son to finish school and graduate. I am going to believe that He will give me what I need to get those transcripts done and prepare him for the SAT and ACT. Mostly, I am going to trust that the Lord already has a plan for my children, and that He is going to equip me to prepare them for that plan. No more cowering, no more doubts, just moving ahead in faith to tackle what seems like Mount Everest. I will see you at the top!